"Everything has to be ice-cold," the baker would begin; the flour, the salt—even the countertop should go in the freezer if possible, to keep the dough from melting and going greasy. Touching the dough was out of the question, the warmth of your hands apparently enough to ruin everything!—so get out your food processor, but be careful, because it might chop the butter too finely and ruin everything! Don't add too much water, because the dough will be tough, but don't add too little, because it won't come together. Then again, if you're new at this, you probably won't know what you're doing, so you might as well just resign yourself to subpar crust and err on the side of too much. And whatever you do, don't overwork the dough! Just mix the stuff until it comes together, then stop—don't even look at it again, lest you pay the price with overdeveloped glutens and a crust tough enough to chip teeth. Perfect the act of plastic wrapping the dough ball and transferring it to the fridge without actually handling it.