The Dirty Dozen: The Saveur Team Shares Their Favorite “Guilty Pleasures”

No shame in our snack game.

By SAVEUR Editors

Published on October 15, 2020

67. State-Fair Classic Mini Corn Dogs

Swaddled in a thick layer of cornbread, these little pups remind me that my third-grade math teacher was right: Surface area to volume ratio does matter. —Anna Hirschorn

68. Crunch 'N Munch

The Buttery Toffee flavor is my classy adult swap for Cracker Jack. The only bad thing about this trade-off? No prize in the box. —Shane Mitchell

69. Chips Ahoy!

I can go through a sleeve in one sitting, no beverage necessary. Though, dunking these initially crunchy, then ­miraculously melt-in-your-mouth cookies in milk never hurt anybody’s feelings. —­Catherine Tillman Whalen

70. Patio Burritos

Plenty of gourmet brands have entered the frozen-burrito market, charging up to $4.99 a pop. This one, 50 cents at Walmart, still tastes better. Wrap in damp paper towels before nuking. Top with melted cheese and hot sauce. But do not look at the ingredients list. —Stephanie Pancratz

71. Totino’s Party Pizza

It is no more a pizza than a tiny McDonald’s burger is a burger. Similarly delicious in its own right, Totino’s instantly transports me back to preteen slumber parties. —­Sarah Gray Miller

72. Cap’n Crunch

No peanut butter or “crunch berries,” please. Only the original. I’m a purist. —­Dave Weaver

73. Snyder’s Honey Mustard & Onion Pretzel Pieces

They’ll give you some real stanky breath. What of it? —­Erin Scottberg

74. Fruit Roll-Ups

When I was little, I dreamed of fusing together the edges of multiple Fruit Roll-Ups to create one mega Fruit Roll-Up quilt. Guess what I do now? Adopt this pro tip, from 8-year-old Eric: Refrigerate the fruit leather for extra chewiness. —Eric Kim

75. Mrs. T’s Pierogies

As a former professional bread baker, my carb threshold may be unnaturally high, but these cheese-and-starch ­double whammies (a triple threat when fried in salted butter) are my go-to cure for both hangovers and heartbreak. —­Kat Craddock

76. Triscuits

I top them with room-­temperature butter or a combination of cream cheese and jalapeño jelly—irresistible either way. —Michellina Jones

77. Junior Mints

The theater-size box is the way to go. Though I shake them out slowly to savor a few at a time and fool myself into thinking I won’t eat them all, I inevitably finish the whole box in one sitting. —Mindy Fox

78. Ore-Ida Tater Tots

I’ve loved these for as long as I could turn on an oven. They achieve the perfect balance of salt, fat, crunch, and smoosh. —Monica Michael Willis

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